Soccer - Just Not Violent Enough...

I am an avowed -- Not Soccer Fan, Nor Soccer Hater. I simply don't give a damn. In fact - i never thought i'd be writing about soccer without a gun pointed at my head. (And i assure you no gun is near me.)

But since i am living in one of the countries competing in the AFF Cup, Soccer ---Oh excuse me, for the purist out there ---'football' is everywhere and unavoidable. What IS interesting, is the fans. Observing the way the fans act and react to every movement in the game.

It doesn't matter where you are, every time the home country makes a goal or touchdown --or whatever the hell they call it when they get the ball in the net-- you hear cheers roaring up from almost everywhere. A normally quiet and serene cafe. A road-side eatery. Even at the local mall.

And where there is soccer (oh screw the purists, i'll call it what i bloody well like) there is violence. Ugly riots are a common scene around the globe at big soccer tournaments. Police by the thousands arrayed in anti-riot gear.

And yet - the matches continue. The violence of the fans continues.
Nothing changes.

So - i got curious. Why is it soccer seems to be associated with such systematic and predictable violence from the fans? Why why why?
Why oh why oh why?

Yes. There is the occasional bit of mayhem or even slight breakdown in social order at other sporting events, but not as regularly and destructively as soccer.

Then it occurred to me. It's because it's not violent enough.
What?
Yep! Not violent enough ON THE FIELD. It's too damn genteel and sweet. Too civilized.
Remember - all sports are a proxy for WAR. Good ole blood curdling, pound 'em in to the ground VIOLENCE.

Consider hockey. A lovely sport that leaves no reservations about its true purpose or intent. You go out on the ice to put the puck in the net for sure. But - like rice in Asia or potatoes in Russia - no meal is complete without it.
Hockey without a bit of brain-bashing is just not hockey. Not satisfying.
Or Football. Yea. The real f**king football. The one where guys go out on the field to break bones.
The more the merrier.
 
Or consider Bullfighting. A delicious release of pent up passion and adrenaline in an almost artistic way...
Lately, the Wussbags have had some success in banning this ancient, and sublime pastime. But that's a subject for another post. 

Oh and lest i leave out Boxing. What could be more straight-forward. Two human being duking it out till one of em drops. Simple. Beautiful.

Lastly, let's talk about the granddaddy of them all : The Gladiators.
Have you ever heard about a riot or insurrection during or after a contest between gladiators?
Of course not. Because there is satisfaction. One man is down at the end. Never to rise again....

So I say - if you want to head-off, curtail and even avoid the violence OFF the field, provide the adequate and necessary blood curdling, brain-bashing, bone breaking, spear through the torso kind of violence ON THE FIELD.

Plain and simple. Play a real sport or reform soccer to be a true proxy for war. VIVA LA VIOLENCE!